My Goals, His Goals

A little over a year ago I posted a few things I hoped to accomplish by the time I turned 31 - my Age 30 Bucket List. Now that the year is nearly up let's see how I did, shall we?

1. Complete a half marathon

DID IT! I ran my first half marathon in Leavenworth, Washington last October with a time of 1 hour, 52 minutes and 30 seconds. Boo-yah!

And, I'm gonna do it again! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know after the last one I said that I would never run another race that long, but over time my competitive spirit has gotten the best of me. Now I'm determined to beat last year's time. I start my official training program in two weeks. My race is October 15th.

2. Get pregnant with Baby #2

Not just yet. Through IVF I carried two little embryos for a short time in February but they both failed to attach. Then I carried another precious embryo for a short while in May via a frozen embryo transfer, but again, it failed to attach. 

3. Take the boat tour into Hells Canyon (this is a local tourist activity)

Unfortunately we didn't get around to this one this year, nor do I expect we will squeeze it in before my birthday arrives next Friday. I could probably insist that we go on the Saturday immediately following my birthday but I have already requested that we build a table instead (more on that later), so I guess this goal will just have to continue on to next year's bucket list.

4. Take my hubby on a REAL vacation so he finally sees what all the fuss is about

Nope, no vacation. No fuss. Most of our spare cash was poured into fertility treatments this year.

5. Finish reading the Twilight saga

DID IT! Actually, I think I had all four books completed within a month after my 30th birthday. Plus, I've seen all the movies to date. I am positively giddy for the November release of Breaking Dawn. Is there a line at the movie theater yet, cuz I'm ready!

6. Eat an "Idaho Spud" candy bar

DID IT! Here is a visual for those of you who don't know what an Idaho Spud looks like:

Appetizing, no?

I thought this goal could be a small right of passage for having lived in Idaho - emphasis on the small because if this candy bar (lump is probably more accurate) was any bigger I may have started gagging.

Finally, I added another goal a few weeks after my 30th birthday:

7. See Brad Paisley and Darius Rucker in concert

Negative. We couldn't make the Spokane show because we had to be in Seattle for a fertility appointment the following day, and we couldn't make the Gorge show because we were celebrating our friends' wedding that evening.

Is anyone else seeing a pattern for this year?

On the morning of my 30th birthday a year ago I was feeling a bit blue, mostly because I had always imagined I would have a few kiddos by the time I turned 30. So it was ironic when that very night at dinner Justin admitted he thought we were financially able to do another IVF cycle. At those words I nearly jumped across the table to kiss him. We went to a movie after dinner but all I could think about was getting pregnant again. Even now I don't think I could tell you which movie we saw.

 

We tried for an IVF cycle in November but got delayed.

We tried for December and got delayed again.

We finally got to do our cycle in February and, after that didn't work, we attempted a frozen embryo transfer in May.

Now here I am, about to celebrate another birthday.

Once again I amazed at how quickly the time passes.

This last year has been one of the most difficult of our lives, and also one of the most joyous.
We felt our hopes deflate with negative pregnancy tests, but heard our son say his first "I love you."

Infertility broke our hearts again and again, but God's joy has been our strength.
And boy have we needed strength.

In my devotional this week I read this quote from Kay Arthur:

"He wants us to have a faith that does not complain while waiting, but rejoices because we know our times are in His hands - nail-scarred hands that labor for our highest good."

I may set goals for myself, but the greatest plan for my life has been laid out by the hands of my Savior - hands that were scarred for me.

I don't always understand it. I don't always like it. But I always trust it.

"...count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

James 1:2-4