About That Time

My son was only three months old when I knew for certain that I had the baby bug again. Although for the IF (infertile), I’m not sure the baby bug is something that actually comes and goes at different stages in your life. I know in my case it sticks around permanently. It kicked into gear after my hubby and I were married for a year, it kicked into high gear when we started trying to get pregnant, and then it kicked into overdrive when we got our IF diagnosis. And its been in overdrive ever since. I figure the bug will finally dissipate when we get the 4 kiddos we have always dreamed of having. But God may have other plans, in which case I know He will help me overcome whatever little bit of bug might remain.

Justin and I have always wanted to have our kids close in age. I have a brother who is two years older than me and a sister who is two years younger. Two years has always seemed like the perfect spacing. As the eldest child in his family, Justin has a sister who is just 16 months younger than him.

Kendry is nearly 15 months old, so 9 months from now he will be 2.

9 months from now.

Are you following me?

And with no pregnancy or IVF or FET (frozen embryo transfer) cycle in sight, I am struggling. Some people have told me it is good to wait, that it will let Kendry be the baby for a little longer. And yes, sometimes I look at Kendry and think he is too young to be a big brother. But then there are moments like this:

Kendry loves this see-saw. It has a seat right in the middle - the perfect solution for a solo rider. And riding it solo is all my kiddo knows at this point. He hops on and starts rocking excitedly, completely oblivious to the primary rule of see-sawing: its a lot more fun with someone on the other side. Every time Kendry climbs on this see-saw I imagine what it will be like when he has a little brother or sister to sit on the other side. I can hear them laughing together. I can see them trying to tip the other one off. I cannot wait for that day.

A few months back I found this quote on a few IF blogs:

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us."

This quote forced me to take a good look at how I am living my life. Am I finding the joy in each and every day? Am I making as many memories as I possibly can with my son, knowing that he won't be a baby much longer? Am I being the wife and mother God would have me to be?

I have always loved the saying "God is in control", but suddenly I felt hypocritical for ever saying this to someone. Yes, God is indeed in control. So why am I wasting so much time and energy trying to control and plan out my life? Let's face it, we will only have more kids if it is in God's will. And we will only have more kids when it is in God's will. I firmly believe God has more children in store for us, but in the meantime He wants me to enjoy my life to the full.

Since coming to this realization a few months ago, I know God has given me a new outlook. But as we creep closer to this so-called "two year goal" I find my Type A personality trying to control things again. As the quote says, I need to let go of the life I had planned. I had planned to have at least two children by the time I was 30. God obviously had a different plan. I had planned to have my kids only two years apart. Will that happen? I don't know.

I heard a saying once: "If you want to hear God laugh, just tell Him your plans." I'm sure some people find this cruel, as though God is simply toying with us. I, however, love this saying, even more so now that I'm a parent. I imagine Kendry as a teenager, telling me what he wants to do when he graduates high school, where he wants to attend college, where he wants to travel, what kind of job he wants to have. And suppose while he is telling me this I know all along that these dreams of his are only the tip of the iceberg - that he is actually going to attend Harvard and graduate at the top of his class, that he will travel the world, that he will marry the woman of his dreams.

Knowing that he was going to be blessed beyond his wildest dreams, and he didn't have the faintest idea, wouldn't you laugh with joy too? I am sure its the same with God. And being the planner that I am, I know God has probably had a few good chuckles at my expense.

So here I am again, God. I'm tempted to plan; but what I really need is to turn it all over to You. Please help us not to run ahead, but to rest in the knowledge that You have already laid it out for us to travel in Your time. And until the time is right, please keep our little snowflake safe and healthy. Amen.

Its Nice to Meet You, 30!

Alas, the day has finally arrived. Today I am 30 years old.

I'm not sure quite what I expected this monumental birthday to feel like, or what the day itself would entail, but I can assure you it did not include a 5am wake up call from my son, sobbing and ready for someone to let him out of bed. Nor did it include a three mile run - although this proved to be a nice way to re-start my day after aforementioned early wake up call, and birthday or not, I have to keep up with my half-marathon training program. And my expectations certainly did not include two wonderfully stinky, dirty diapers before 8am. (Just to clarify: those were my son's dirty diapers, not mine.)

My mind has wandered a bit today, allowing me to ponder the decade that was my 20's: paths not taken, fond memories, unforeseen challenges, amazing joys, goals I have yet to reach...

I can choose to let turning 30 depress me, or I can celebrate it as another incredible milestone, a testament to all that God has done in my life, and what He has yet to do. And I choose the latter. I choose to celebrate.

As fellow blogger Kate reminded me this morning, I need to celebrate my blessings every day.

Today's (30) blessings:

1. A beautiful baby boy waking up in the next room.

2. Receiving a much-anticipated Miche purse from my wonderful hubby for my birthday.

3. The ability to run... and actually getting enjoyment from it.

4. Living in a beautiful farming area where I can run past fields, horses, tractors, cows, barns, chickens, etc.

5. Being served some yummy birthday pancakes for breakfast, complete with chocolate chips that spelled out "30".

6. Watching my kiddo learn how to eat yogurt with a bowl and spoon all by himself.

7. Letting go of my clean-freak tendencies and learning to laugh when confronted with a strawberry yogurt covered toddler.

8. The invention of disposable diapers. Can you imagine my mood if I had to change those two yucky diapers this morning with cloth diapers?

9. Enjoying a grande cinnamon dolce frappucino from Starbucks on my way to work.

10. Having a great job, especially in these uncertain times.

11. The joy of hearing my son verbally recognize a Veggie Tales worship song.

12. Amazing Christian daycare providers who love and dote on my kiddo.

13. Anticipating and getting phone calls from my parents and many siblings, all wishing (and some even singing) me a happy birthday.

14. Being born into the greatest family ever!

15. Gobbling down a delicious Taco Bell crunchwrap supreme and empanada for lunch. (This birthday is calling for some serious eating.)

16. The opportunity to work with a fun, funny and caring group of people.

17. Singing along to beloved Christmas music on the radio. (Our local Christian radio is doing their Christmas in July Food Drive today.)

18. Seeing my son enjoy his Grandma, Great Uncle Erik and Nana and Grandpa this evening, and them enjoy him in return.

19. Having a Thai birthday dinner for two with my handsome hubby.

20. FINALLY getting to see a summer movie in the theater.

21. Being able to sneak lots of candy into the movie via my large purse. (Naughty, I know.)

22. Seeing my kiddo toddle around in his pj's; I think thats when he looks the cutest.

23. Having our own home to come home to at the end of the day.

24. Snuggling with my little boy and his bear blankie before laying him in his bed and kissing him goodnight.

25. Laughing with my hubby at the horrible start of a haircut he gave our kiddo last night before the clippers died for good. It seriously looks like the start of a mullet.

26. Relishing all the "Happy Birthday" wishes on my FB wall. Thank you, everyone!

27. Getting to call myself mom to the most precious boy in the world.

28. Being married to the most wonderful, sexy, caring, and funny family man ever.

29. Curling up and falling asleep beside said Mr. Wonderful every night.

30. That 30 is the new 20!

Its All About the Accessories... (100th Post!!!)

...even for toddler boys.

Kendry has been a hat baby pretty much from Day 1. This is obviously more my doing than his, but he cooperates quite well. Unless he is getting somewhat ornery, he will usually keep on whatever hat I may perch on his cute little head.

A few months ago I realized that Kendry was wearing a hat in most of the photos I was taking of him. The first step is acknowledging you have a problem, right? But before I get help for this addiction, please allow me to re"cap":

It all began when he headed home from the hospital:

Were you counting? Thats 13 hats so far. And thats just the hats caught on camera. I can assure you there were several more never worn or photographed.

In my defense, like I said above, Kendry seems to enjoy wearing the hats as much as I love putting them on him. Although, from time to time, he does get a little irritated with me:

"GET THIS THING OFF MY HEAD!"

But those incidents are few and far between.

My second defense? In case you haven't noticed, my kiddo inherited my fair skin. I cannot tell you how much I fear his first sunburn experience, and I am determined to not have it happen on my watch. And whomever’s watch it does happen on, you’d better watch out!

I have had too many serious sunburns to count during my lifetime. Now that I’m nearly 30 (shhh, don’t tell anyone!), I like to think I’ve learned my lesson. These days, in addition to a thick coat of sunscreen, I try to wear a wide-brimmed hat to help me keep the sun off my face, ears, neck and shoulders. And there is nothing like a cute hat to accessorize that beautiful sundress or fun swimsuit. Who can refuse a cute hat, right? Obviously not me.

Keeping with the wide-brimmed hat strategy, I found a simple bucket hat for Kendry at a yard sale a few weeks ago. The woman actually threw it in for free after I cleared her out of her 2T boys’ clothes. And its a good thing it was a free hat because it sooo does not fit my kiddo.

"Does this hat make my head look fat?"

Poor Kendry gets a circular imprint around his head after wearing this thing. If you look closely at the above pic you can just see it below his hairline.

Can you see where I am going with this?

Yes, I felt obligated to buy Kendry two more wide-brimmed hats (courtesy of TCP) to help us get through our hot and sunny summer. And how cute are they?!

(I don't normally dress my kiddo in big clothes like this, but this was the smallest size we could get for his family reunion t-shirt.)

I know I need to taper off my addiction a little bit - perhaps after I find him a Seattle Seahawks hat for football season. And then he will need his first tiny cowboy hat...

Man, I have a sickness!!

All kidding aside, I do not want to raise one of those kiddos who showers with his hat on. There are many situations in which wearing a hat is not proper etiquette (church, dinner table, classroom, shower etc.) and I think there are too many children/teens out there who were never taught this. My kiddo will not be one of them.

Furthermore, the last two Gimlin generations are not, shall we say, genetically blessed when it comes to keeping hair on their head. If there is even a slim chance that habitual hat wearing increases one's chances of balding, I should throw away all of Kendry's hats tonight because the odds are already against him. That being said, other than clearly inheriting his father's hairline, Kendry seems to have a lot of hair, just like his mommy.

And last but not least, the money for purchasing these hats really adds up. Most of them in the first year were hand-me-downs, but Kendry has now grown out of just about all of those. Fortunately, Kendry's head is fast catching up with his daddy's inexplicably small head; they will be sharing hats in no time.

S'more Family Camping

So I know I haven't blogged about our Alaska trip just yet, but if you know anything about the activity level on my side of the family you know that a week-long family reunion cannot be described in just one sitting. Rest assured I will blog the details of our trip shortly.

But in the meantime, allow me to share the details of our latest weekend adventure. Although we did a one night camping trip during the family reunion, Justin and I had yet to take Kendry with us for the very first Gimlin Family Camping Trip! (voiced with the Chevy Chase "Griswold Family Christmas!" enthusiasm) Although we were told last summer that camping with an infant is certainly easier than camping with a toddler, our summer just got too busy to squeeze in a camping trip. We decided early on this year that we were not going to let another summer go by without getting out into the wild outdoors. So even though our luggage was still warm from the trip back from Alaska, we packed up again on Friday and headed over to the Tucannon River / Umatilla Forest to go camping.

Kendry started out as a Grumpy Gus...

...but was in a much better mood when he got to help Daddy set up the tent.Everybody loves a little bedtime snack.

Much to our delight, our tent (which hasn't seen the light of day in three years) is actually big enough to sleep the two of us comfortably along side a pack-n-play. Hooray for toddler containment devices, right?! So with the kiddo sleeping comfortably I got to snuggle up next to the fire and continue reading "New Moon" (aka Twilight Book II).

Justin having fun with the camera:What we didn't account for was a 5:30am wake up call the next morning, thanks to daylight streaming into the tent and sub-50 degree temperatures. Poor little Kendry had gotten a little chilly - which, by the way, makes him super hyper. We had a blue-lipped toddler jumping all around the tent before we could even say "good morning".

Kendry wasn't too interested in the fire, thank goodness, although we did have to remind him to stay back. His new word for the weekend: "Hot!" Thankfully, he learned it solely from us repeating it over and over and not from direct contact with a hot surface.

Eating some lunch before our hike. Stopping for a snack during our 4 mile hike along the Tucannon.
Kendry eating...again. The kiddo loves to eat!My precious little hiker. He actually rode in the Kelty for the hike, but we let him down for a little while so he could feel like he contributed.
Upon returning to camp, Kendry stumbled for the 186th time of the day and got his first official skinned knee.

But the knee was quickly forgotten when Kendry's s'more initiation began. "So this is a marshmellow, huh?"
"Yep, I could get used to this s'more thing!"





And dessert for the adults? Peach Cobbler! I tell you what, camping with my chef of a hubby certainly has its perks.

Aside from our failure to bring enough proper layers for the chilly night temperatures - nothing a little snuggling as a family can't fix - it was a wonderful weekend. And for the record: yes, I'm pretty certain it is much easier to camp with an infant than a toddler.

Ten

1. WEEE'RREE BAAAAACCKK! We had an absolute blast in Alaska for my family reunion. Seriously, I am blessed with the awesomest, hippest, kindest, funnest family EVER, as evidenced by these photos of my incredible parents:

Come on, you know you are looking at these photos and wishing you could be a Binder too.

2. While weighing our luggage at home before our departure on July 2nd, my hubby broke our wonderful digital bathroom scale. Alaska Airlines' luggage weight limit is 50 lbs; my bag weighed in at 50.4 lbs. No extra charge for this savvy traveler. We have this luggage thing down to a science, people. Anyhow, until such time as we replace said broken bathroom scale, I will continue to believe it when it reports that I lost 5 lbs while in Alaska.

3. Which is more tragic: a grown man wearing a fanny-pack or a grown man toting a fanny-pack like a purse? I witnessed the latter on my way to work - and he was going into an auto-parts store, no less. Perhaps my sister Jaimee, the family fanny-pack expert, can answer this one for us. See, I told you I have the hippest family members. LOVE YOU, JAIM!

4. No week before a vacation would be complete without the "check engine" light going on in my car. And no week after a vacation would be complete without the "check tire pressure" going on in my car. Sheesh!

5. This week's Disney movie trivia:

"Tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting was, I think, a big success. We'd like to thank Mr. Spell for putting that on for us, thank you Mr. Spell."

Answers? Anyone?

6. During our trip Kendry learned "uh oh", only it still sounds like "uh uh". He woke up around midnight night before last and was somewhat inconsolable (probably due to teething). After a little Tylenol, I had him just about rocked back to sleep when his binky fell out of his mouth. I heard him mutter a sleepy "Uh uh", and then he was wide awake again and we were back to square one. This whole talking thing might be a bit overrated.

7. Even though we just got back home we are going on our first family camping trip this weekend near the Tucannon River. Fun fun!

8. Today Kendry is wearing a John Deere t-shirt that reads: GOT DIRT? Its quite fitting since he is a total dirt magnet these days. He spent quite a bit of time in my parents' sandbox in AK, only coming to find me once he was all lathered up in sand:

9. My 12 week half-marathon training has begun! Bring on the miles and miles of running!

10. To my parents, grandmother, siblings, siblings-in-law, nieces and nephews: We miss you guys soo much already! Now, when is the next reunion?