How a 5k Can Impact Your Parenting

Last month marked a milestone for our oldest kiddo: at a mere 4 years of age Kendry finished his first 5k on foot.

Kendry is no stranger to the running scene, having been my running partner (via jogging stroller) since he was just a wee lad.

A very cute running partner he is too, and so accommodating of my costume ideas.

Alas, pushing him in a jogger the two races previous to the March 5k brought me to a conclusion: he was just getting too darn big.

The time had come to give Kendry a little push out of the proverbial nest and see if he was ready to fly.

Fly he did.

My only regret is that I didn’t have a camera to catch the giant grin painted on his face as he took off from the starting line with all the other runners. He kept glancing up at the runners around him, beaming ever so proudly. He was finally one of the pack; he was finally a runner. Albeit a runner I had to keep reminding to pay attention so he didn’t run into a telephone pole, trip over a bump in the asphalt or collide with a jogging stroller. There were close calls with all three of those risks.

Kendry jogged the entire first mile on adrenaline and excitement, with me beside him. As the novelty and adrenaline wore off (and the two of us slowly fell to the back of the pack), he started taking little walking breaks in between spurts of running. But he was still motivated.

Daddy and little brothers passed by us going the other way, having already hit the halfway turnaround.

Auntie Angel passed by us too.

I reminded Kendry that we were almost to the halfway point ourselves and that we could stop and get a drink there. The incentive of a water break sparked his stride a little. But once the halfway point was reached and the water consumed, completing the race was suddenly the last thing Kendry wanted to do.

As the mom I found myself struggling as well. I wanted my kiddo to have fun, but obviously the fun was over. His legs were tired, his motivation was gone, and his spirits were down. Not to mention the finish line was still 1.5 miles away.

Was I tempted to swing him onto my back and let him piggyback for awhile? You betcha!

But I didn’t.

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I heard a Chip Ingram message once that said:
“Our kids will encounter suffering in their lives. Teach them to suffer well.”

There is a lot of commentary lately about a generation of children growing up unequipped to deal with life’s disappointments and hurts because their well-meaning parents can’t stand to see their kids suffering. I’m sure these parents have the best of intentions – no one wants to see their kids suffer - but the truth is no matter how hard we try to protect our kids, they will be disappointed and they will get hurt. It is inevitable. Instead of overprotecting our kids we should let life struggles build their character; stand back, give them independence and let them fall, then come along side them and teach them how to suffer well. Let them see your failures. Let them see you apologize. Let them see you fall, dust yourself off and get back up.

Let them see you stick to your commitments, even when it gets tough.

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With 1.5 looonng miles to go, I fought off the urge to rescue my kiddo or give him a way out; instead, I took his hand and we took it one step at a time. We walked and we talked. He complained a little; I countered with praise and optimism. I encouraged him to run when he could, and he did. I told him it didn’t matter if we walked the rest of the way, but that we were going to finish the whole race.

With about 200 yards to go I told Kendry we should try to beat the little girl and her daddy walking in front of us. He wasn’t interested.

At 100 yards to go we spotted Daddy, little brothers and Auntie Angel cheering us on. His spirits lifted.

At 50 yards Kendry took off running and didn’t stop until he crossed the finish line, where he promptly turned to me and exclaimed: “Mommy, I beat that girl!”

Who knew a family fun run could provide such a teachable moment, for both parent and child?

As we run, we become.

 ~Amby Burfoot~