The Games We {Parents} Play

While reading the April issue of Parents magazine I came across these silly definitions from Kid Dictionary:



invisibooboo (in-VIZ-uh-boo-boo) n:  the site on a child's body where you unnecessarily applied a bandage to appease him when he got hurt, even though no blood ever appeared.



crydentity crisis (cry-DENT-ih-tee CRY-sis) n:  silence that falls over a group of parents at a playdate when a cry is heard from the next room and they're all determining whether the wailing child is theirs.

(My addition: this is often followed by a second silence as the remaining parents pray their child isn't the one responsible for the first child's cry. )



harrask (huh-RASK) v:  when a child persists in asking again and again for permission to do something in the fervant hope that your answer will change from no to yes.



lullacry (LULL-uh-cry) n:  the dramatic, seemingly interminable pause between a child sustaining an injury and beginning to wail.



slobbertize (SLOBB-her-tyz) v:  to use spit on a napkin to clean something off your kid's face when you're not hear a sink.  (Guilty!)




And my personal favorite, which coincidentally corresponds with the subject of this post:

chapturn (CHAHP-tern) v:  to sneakily skip pages or abbreviate the narrative when reading a long kids' book to your child. 



Dr. Seuss anyone?  Justin is a pro at ad-libbing Kendry's books when he tires of reading the same story over and over. I have told him, however, that he is not permitted to ad-lib Bible stories.

We've gotta draw the line somewhere.


Kendry owns two Dr. Seuss books - actually one book is five stories in one, so in reality he owns six Dr. Seuss books. SIX!

I should clarify here that both Justin and I love to read, and we have encouraged a love for reading in Kendry since he was an infant. Much to our delight, he is embracing it, and I love adding new books to his library. Kendry's bedtime routine includes two stories each night - one read by Daddy and another read by Mommy. Simply put, we like to read in our house.


Now, back to Dr. Seuss.

I swear that guy knew exactly what he was doing when he wrote these books. He mixed catchy rhymes with odd illustrations to get the kiddos addicted, and then deliberately made each story no less than 30 pages long to torture the poor parents. And don't even get me started on the tongue-twisters. I am a talkative person - just ask my husband. My tongue gets a good workout any day of the week. But give me one Dr. Seuss story and I swear my tongue immediately starts cramping up.

I'm building my defense here, can you tell?

A few weeks ago I posted a Ten on Tuesday in which I confessed to hiding both of Kendry's Dr. Seuss books deep in the couch so Daddy and Mommy could have a few nights of 'normal' bedtime reading. It was a matter of maintaining my sanity.

And it worked like a charm... except when I had to play dumb as Kendry searched high and low to find Wacky Wednesday.

Don't judge.


Before you feel too sorry for Kendry you need to watch this video:







I dread the day Kendry realizes Mommy and Daddy aren't always as innocent as they profess to be.  

Today its books that are mysteriously 'eaten' by the couch. Tomorrow I'll be blaming the recycling bin for snatching Kendry's artwork off the fridge.

Don't shake your head at me - you know you've done it too.