Most readers of our blog know us in real life, in which case you already know that aside from my jobs as a wife and mom I am a paralegal from 9 to 5, Monday through Friday.
I started my career in 2004, working solely in estates/probate for two and a half years, before Justin graduated and we relocated. I have learned so much in my eight years as a paralegal - both professionally and personally - and one lesson I have learned time and time again is this:
- people can do crazy things when they are grieving -
What do I mean by that?
Allow me to use my family as an example. I come from a large family. My parents are still happily married (44 years now - woot! woot!) My siblings and I get along great. An outsider looking in might naturally assume that upon the death of my parents, my siblings and I will graciously and lovingly work together to divide my parents' assets equally among us. I pray that is the case; but like I said, people are capable of crazy things in their grief.
Suppose upon her death I decide I want that table for myself...and then my younger sister decides she wants it too. And then my
older sister points out that she should get the table because she actually helped my mom refinish it. Throw in the grief that each of us is experiencing upon the loss of our mother and -
wham!- family conflict.
As I said, this is just an example. Except now that I think about it I do wonder who will get mom's table down the road. Interesting...
DIBS!
Ha, just kidding, Jaim.
In all seriousness, this situation happens more often than you might think. Which is why I believe it is extremely important to execute a will. Yes, sometimes even with a will these family conflicts can still erupt, but at least the deceased has left something in writing indicating their exact wishes. If my mother leaves a list specifically saying that she wants my older sister to inherit her dining table, so be it.
If you're under 30 years of age you may be thinking: "I don't have anything of value anyway."
Are you married? Do you have children? Do you have a home?
Does your family know your wishes if you were, heaven forbid, ever in an accident and left in a vegetative state?
Never assume that just because you are young you don't need to consider estate planning. Justin and I were married just two months before we executed our estate planning documents. Granted, we got a nice discount since I was still working in estates; however, we knew without a doubt that we intended to buy a house and have kids in the near future. We wanted our bases covered in case anything happened.
What bases did we cover exactly? We executed wills, living wills, powers of attorney and a community property agreement. {An attorney can help you determine which documents you might need.}
If you already have your estate planning documents in order, way to go! Just make sure you refer back to them every few years to make sure they are still applicable, particularly with regard to your children. Don't be like us and wait until your child is nearly three years old before you revise your wills to include a guardian selection for your child.
See? Even I am not completely organized in every aspect of my life.
For those of you in the infertile community, make sure you consider things like frozen eggs, frozen sperm, and frozen embryos. While our fertility clinic already requires us to fill out a stack of paperwork an inch high with regard to frozen embryos, Justin and I felt it was important to include language in our wills specifying exactly what we want done with any frozen embryos if we were to die.
Also, while I'm on a roll here, you might consider putting together what Dave Ramsey refers to as a
Legacy Drawer.
"The drawer should be somewhere in your home and contain everything your spouse or family needs to know if you aren't around—anything that has to do with your financial life should be in that drawer. You must organize it in a way that anyone can find a specific document in 30 seconds. All files should be clearly marked, in order, and easy for a grieving family member to find. There's no need to go into extreme detail when creating your Legacy Drawer. Simply include the appropriate documents in an easy-to-understand format, and you're good to go!"
I hope this post inspires you to look into estate planning if you haven't already. And please don't let this information overwhelm you or cause you to ponder your own morbidity for a week straight. That is not my intent. I would simply encourage you to either speak with an attorney or take a look at some legal forms available online and decide what sort of estate planning might be appropriate for you at this stage in your life.
{Disclaimer: I am not an attorney and cannot give legal advice, nor should any of the above information be considered as such. This information is simply provided as a recommendation. If you have questions about what estate planning documents you should have I highly suggest you contact a licensed attorney in your state of residence. If you live in Idaho or Washington, I know a few good ones.}
